Salary-man Senryu "Sara-sen" Winners 2012

Dai-ichi Life Insurance announced their latest Sarariiman Senryuu (Salaried Worker Senryuu, サラリーマン川柳) competition winners. I'm late to the party by a couple months, but this time was the 25th year for the competition. In this sara-sen competition, people submit and vote on the best humorous senryu that come from the daily life of salaried workers and the news. Senryu are like Haiku but are about human life rather than nature, and have the same familiar haiku cadence of 5, 7, then 5 syllables. Let's look at some of the sara-sen this year, with my annotations and a shot at translations:

 

「もう、ステキ！」

Mou, suteki!

モテ期終われば

Moteki owareba

もう捨て期

Mou, suteki.

 

"How can I refuse you!" 

As I pass my expiration date,

I am so much refuse. 

 

Mou suteki! is an exclamation a person might use to describe how cool or beautiful someone is. Moteki is the period you are attractive or sexy in your life, and is referring to a comic, and a movie from 2011. The last line's "mou suteki" is the same as the first line and means, "it's already past its expiration date." This is clever for its three lines that sound similar.

 

「少女時代」

Shojo jidai

唄ってはしゃぐ

Utatte hashagu

熟女時代

Jukujo jidai

 

Girl's Generation:

Brought to you by,

The Mature Generation.

 

Shojo Jidai is the Korean girl idol group "Girl's Generation". This is referring to a group of middle aged women who go crazy singing Girls Generation tunes at Karaoke. The writer calls them "jukujo" which means mature or aged woman (either pejoratively or as a sort of MILF-ish fetish), and adds the humorous irony to this entry since it's the "Mature Women's Generation" who is doing the singing and partying! 

 

アイウォンチュー

Ai-won-chu

いつでも君は

Itsudemo kimi wa

iPhone中

iPhone chuu

 

I Want You!

But it looks like I must compete,

With your iPhone, too.

 

The "I Want You" refers to the AKB48 tune "Heavy Rotation", expressing a girl's desire for her boyfriend, but she laments he is always "iPhone Chuu" or always playing with his iPhone, and the Japanese for those two phrases rhyme, to make the senryu work. 

 

モテ期きた？

Moteki kita?

おごる時だけ

Ogoru toki dake

やってくる

Yatte kuru

 

Am I attractive? 

It looks like it, but only when

I pay. 

 

Pretty much as it reads, and refers again to the comic book and movie Moteki. The manager is saying he is only attractive to the opposite sex, if he pays for dinner. How sad! 

 

エコ製品

Eco seihin

節電するのに

Setsuden surunoni

高くつき

Takaku-tsuki

 

"Eco" Products:

To save electricity,

I spend a lot.

 

This is a big irony this past year given the austerity last summer after the big quake. The government has an "eco points" program, where you can get various discounts and money back, if you buy so called "eco" products, with a lower energy consumption profile. The housewife writer laments how expensive it is to be "eco". 

 

日よう日

Nichiyoubi

妻は女子会

Tsuma wa joshikai

おれじゃまかい

Ore jamakai

 

Every sunday,

My wife does what she will.

Am I a fifth wheel? 

 

The writer says his wife goes to a "joshi kai" or women's club meeting every Sunday, meaning, she does what she wants. He asks "ore jama kai?" which means either "can I come too" or "am I in the way". Kind of a funny and sad state. 

 

叱らずに

Shikarazu ni

育てた部下に

Sodateta buka ni

怒鳴られる

Donarareru

 

The staffer I trained, 

With whom I have never lost patience,

Screams at me.

 

Another literal one showing a sad situation. The writer must have been so sad at the betrayal, after having patiently brought the staffer along. 

 

便座さえ

Benza sae

オレに冷たい

Ore ni tsumetai

会社内

Kaisha nai

 

In this company,

Everyone's so cold to me,

Even the toilet seat.

 

Maybe a little subtle, but one of the things to go when we started having to save electricity was heated toilet seats (Japanese toilets are famously high tech). So this writer says he's rejected by everyone at his company, even the cold toilet seat! 

 

妻が言う

Tsuma ga iu

「承知しました」

Shochi shimashita

聞いてみたい

Kiite mitai

 

"Yes Sir!"

Just once I want to hear this,

From my wife. 

 

Shochi-shimashita is the word you use when telling someone you accept and understand their order. It is used from staff to their manager, or, from a sales rep to the customer, for instance. The writer gets obedience from his staff, in that they say "shochi-shimashita!", but never from his wife. 

 

我が家にも

Waga ie nimo

なでしこ四人

Nadeshiko yonin

俺アウェイ

Ore away

 

At my house, too:

There are four "nadeshiko".

Another "away game" for me!

 

This is referring to the hugely needed win from the "Nadeshiko Japan" women's soccer team win, that had perfect timing to give us a little boost, after the big earthquake in Tohoku in 2011. The writer is referring to the fact that his household is all females or "nadeshiko" (the word used generally to describe proud, strong, beautiful Japanese women), and for him, it's always an "away game". I know I can relate to this one! 

Who says the Japanese don't have a sense of humor!?

Japan Girl Talk - The Secret Code 2011

The creatures called "gyaru" (teenage girls who hang out in the youth spots in Tokyo) have their own slang language that morphs rapidly. Nobody, even them, can keep up with it. Morning TV had a special segment about the latest "gyaru-go" language trends, which I thought were worth sharing:

"Itsumen" - いつメン

From itsumo-no-menbaa いつものメンバー. The usual group we hang out with.

"kamacho" - かまちょ

From kamatte-choudai 構って頂戴. Pay attention to me.

Said to boyfriend who is studiously ignoring your commentary.

tkmr - タカマル？

Takamaru 高まる, meaning, wanna party? Wanna go crazy? Or: are you excited?

I could be down with some tkmr. Itsumen? Kamacho!

あげモーション

Agemotion. Apparently this is more excited than merely tkmr.

So, it's a nuance thing. tkmr < agemotion.

ピー逃げ

Pii-nige. To touch your RFID school ID on the attendance sensor in the classroom, then beat a hasty retreat.

Cutting class was never so scientific!

オコなう

Oko-nau. 怒っているなう。She's upset or angry. Now I'm angry (okotteiru).

N.b: Nau is used in twitter language in Japan, to say where you are now, and uiru (will) is used to say you will.

At home now. Work will. Kind of Yoda-like, if you ask me. Just be forewarned: if you engage in pii-nige, your teacher will be okonau, I tell ya.

ロールキャベージ

Roll-cabbage. Used to describe a guy who is a vegetable eater on the outside (nice, sweet & pliant to her wishes), but a meat eater on the inside (a take-charge type).

Roll-cabbages can give you gas so be careful, ladies.

メンタル

Mental. Means she's depressed, feeling blue.

Kind of how I feel now when I try understanding teenage girls!

Now you can visit Shibuya or Harajuku armed with some understanding. Until the language morphs again!

 

Panku Bubu Wins M1 Grandprix 2009

Manzai duo "Panku Bubu" won the M1 Grandprix this year, in a unanimous decision over Waraimeshi and Non Style. I was rooting for Waraimeshi, but there you go. Panku Bubu won 10 million yen (about 100K USD). Better luck next year, Waraimeshi.

Yanagihara Kanako Senryu Haiku

Kanako Yanagihara is so popular these days, that shop assistants are starting to impersonate her right back! I heard a shop full of assistants doing their best Kanako schtick, so a senryu haiku came to mind:

君は今

kimi wa ima

加奈子さんより

kanako san yori

柳原

yanagihara

What I mean is, "you're more Yanagihara than Yanagihara Kanako".

Satirical Shibamata Senryuu

The elections are again upon us here in Japan, and the satirists are hard at work writing Senryuu (川柳) poems about the subject. Senryuu are like Haiku in that they have the well-known 5-7-5 sound structure, but they differ in that they are not so much about mother nature as about human nature.

You can see some Senryuu from my post about the annual Salary-man Senryuu competition held by Dai-ichi Life Insurance, about the trials of the typical salaried worker (meaning, most of Japan's population). This time, the buzz is about the upcoming House of Representatives election, and there are several humorous Senyruu decorating the Shibamata Taishakuten (柴又帝釈天) Temple in Katsushika Ward, Tokyo. These will remain on display until around early September.

Let's take a look at some of the Shibamata Senryuu, with my translations:

手袋の

Tebukuro no

白さに隠す

Shirosa ni kakusu

腹の中

Hara no naka

White gloves

Seem to be hiding

Your real intentions [1]

大風呂敷

Oo furoshiki

にまどわされて

ni madowasarete

票を入れ

hyo wo ire

Stunned by your

Impressive large furoshiki

I vote for you [2]

バラの花

Bara no hana

咲くと公約

Saku to kouyaku

枯れてくる

Karetekuru

As the roses bloom

Your campaign promises

Wilt away [3]

字が読めず

Ji ga yomezu

末は首相と

Otto wa souri to

おだてられ

Odaterare

Can't read the kanji!

With the Prime Minister

My husband freaks [4]

マンガ好き

Manga zuki

末は首相と

Otto wa souri to

息子言う

Musuko iu

The manga freak

My husband, gripes about

The PM and our son [5]

[1] The phrase "hara no naka" is a common Japanese use of the hara or "gut", or "inside your gut", your dirty intentions.

[2] Oo furoshiki means "big talk".

[3] They put out roses when counting votes. This implies as soon as the roses are in bloom, or the votes are being counted, politicians' promises die away.

[4] PM Aso is infamous for making mistakes in reading kanji, which are not really so hard to read either (even I could read some of them.) The PM's and the husband's "freaking" here is for opposite reasons and the original "odateru" is more like "to become agitated".

[5] PM Aso is a big manga-lover. The writer's husband loves manga, but does not hesitate to criticize his son or the PM.

There is considerable humor in Japanese life, so it would be shortsighted to think Japan does not enjoy it. Enjoy!

Japan and Its People are Unique

At least that is what they tell me! I like Japan and have had some interesting, enjoyable and indeed unique experiences here, otherwise I would not have stayed in this country since 1987. But over the years, I've had an earful of people telling me directly or indirectly how unique Japan and its people are, and I've had to burst more than one person's bubble. Sometimes incorrectly.

A couple examples of the oft-heard "unique" characteristics of Japan and its people, from my first-hand experience:

• Only Japan has four seasons. So my teachers lied to me about the nature of Spring, Summer, Winter and Fall? I'm shocked!
• Japanese intestines are unique, so that is why Japanese cannot digest foreign rice and cannot import US beef. Quick, revise the anatomy textbooks.
• Foreigners cannot understand the unique Japanese concepts of dignity and morality. Just ask Konishiki who was practically put on trial for not being dignified enough to perform his sumo-ly duties at the highest level, but while you do that, ignore the Japanese abusive Sumo stablemasters.
• Japanese pregnancies take 10 months (!). It's possible that all that extra moral development occurs in utero, but I kind of bet it's got something to do with lunar months or the ancient Japanese counting 0 as 1.
• Japanese Kafunsho (hayfever) does not exist in other countries. Put away that Allegra, you buncha fakers.
• The snow in Japan is special, and unique, and that's why we cannot import foreign ski equipment because it just doesn't work here. Ah huh. A patent on crystallized water?

Of those, I dismissed the Japanese intestines-are-unique thing as being more politician wind-blow, but there is anecdotal evidence I've read in favor of it being true. I have to admit that that's physiologically possible for races (i.e. caucasian vs mongoloid) to be physically different, but the problem arises when eager-beaver politicians try to further some agenda by linking a longer Japanese intestine to Japanese "not being able to digest" certain foods. Same goes for thinking that "Japanese snow is unique", and therefore foreign skis won't work on it. Rubbish.

What I believe is unique are the aspects of the Japanese language that allow a detailed and evocative rendering of the weather, or seasons, a la Basho or a writer like Kawabata. By the same token there are things that Japanese language does not handle well, like anatomical descriptions. That's part of the reason the doctors use German and English and not Japanese, to describe ailments. So it's not necessarily that the Japanese language is "better", but that there are some well-developed aspects and some not-so-well developed aspects.

Rather than have a strange fixation on these comfortable yet largely inaccurate trivialities steeped in the language and (ill)logic of nihonjinron thinking, I would hope that the Japanese would focus on some of the genuinely amazing and far-reaching achievements of their countrymen, like Takamine's isolation of Adrenalin, the various management techniques of Toyota, or their wonderful cultural treasures (and I don't mean manga and maid cafes). I would hope that the government would teach the Japanese children, my children included, the true beauty of Japan, rather than resorting to weak arguments.

I'll leave you with something I saw today that triggered this aside, and thinking about my time here. Eric Hilton wrote in to the the Japan Times that he supplied a student with the (in my opinion very adroit) translation of a popular Japanese proverb "saru mo ki kara ochiru" (even monkeys fall from trees) as "even Homer nods", and he said that the student was amazed that proverbs even exist in English. Now that takes the cake, but at least one can say that the child is just an ignorant student.

That's more than we can say for the people who put such ideas into his head.

Drop - Enough to Scare the Crap Out of You

"Drop" is a horror story novella written by Koji Suzuki, the writer of best-selling horror stories such as "Ring" and "Rasen" (Spiral). Suzuki san was born in 1957 in Shizuoka Prefecture, Japan, and his books have sold more than 8 million copies.

Thing is, Drop's not your run-of-the-mill novella; it's printed on toilet paper. The Japanese summer is a time for telling horror stories around a campfire or watching the annual scary TV shows, and many Japanese horror stories are set in toilets, so it's quite fitting that there be a horror story written right on your toilet paper, actually.

Drop is produced by Hayashi Paper, and can be purchased in Japan via Banbix. A case of 24 rolls of Drop toilet paper costs JPY 2400 before tax. Banbix says they don't accept orders from or ship outside of Japan, so you're SOL even if you can read it.

Drop is enough to scare the crap out of you, literally, and I'd want my own roll to be able to finish the thing uninterrupted. Either way, stay clear of the toilets in Japan, and have a scary summer. :-)

Salaryman Senryu "Sarasen" Winners

Dai-ichi Life Insurance has announced their latest Sarariiman Senryuu (Salaried Worker Senryuu, サラリーマン川柳) competition winners. It's the 22nd year for the competition, and people vote on the best humorous senryu that come from the daily life of salaried workers and the news. Senryu are like Haiku but are less about nature than about human life, and you may recall that haiku are the poems with a cadence of 5, 7 then 5 syllables. Let's check some of the sara-sen winners out with my translations:

僕の嫁

boku no yome

国産なのに

kokusan nano ni

毒がある

doku ga aru

My Wife

Made in Japan

Yet Poisonous [1]

子供らに

Kodomora ni

また教えてる

Mata oshieteru

総理の名

Souri no na

Once again

I teach the kids

The PM's name [2]

コスト下げ

kosuto sage　

やる気も一緒に

yaruki mo issho ni　

下げられる

sagerareru

Cost-cutting measures

My motivation too

is cut

職安で　

Shokuan de

知った顔見た

Shitta kao mita　

あ、上司

a, joushi

At the job-center

I know that face

Oops, my boss!

久しぶり　

Hisashiburi!

ハローワークで

Haroo Waaku de　

同窓会

Dousoukai

Hey! Good to see you!

It's a reunion

At Hello Work [3]

やせたのは

Yasetano wa

一緒に歩いた

Issho ni aruita

犬の方

Inu no hou

All that walking

The one who lost weight

Was the dog

Who says the Japanese don't have a sense of humor!?

[1] The poison quip of course refers to the series of tainted food scandals, and plays on the idea that domestic Japanese food is supposed to be "safer".

[2] This refers to Japan's Prime Minister revolving door.

[3] Hello Work is a job center located in every town in Japan, where the unemployed can go to submit their resume and apply for work.

Salaryman Neo's "Salaryman Calisthenics"

This clip is from the TV comedy Salaryman Neo. It's a skit called "Salaryman Taiso" (Taiso = Calisthenics). It's based on the famous, known-by-every-Japanese NHK "rajio taiso", which started off as a calisthenics show on the radio, to piano music, which all Japanese learn. NHK is the epitome of conservative, so it's quite funny to see Japanese "taking the piss" in this irreverant way.